| So, I've been fairly lax with posting. This is nothing new. I've been trying to catch up on all the stuff on here and on my galleries, and been falling behind there as well. That happens in spurts, I've found. There's been a few journal entries on my friends page that I meant to reply to, but sometimes, when playing catch-up, and the other person has already moved on, I feel a tad awkward posting anything. Except with you Kyle, since you pretty much have had to get used to it. XD You're the anti-me when it comes to journal entries. *laughs* This is a good thing, by the way, in case you were wondering. ;)
I keep missing everyone on WoW, though I have been playing, I swear! I'm enjoying making little mechanical squirrel pets with my hunter. I can't wait to get to the exploding sheep. Now there's a weapon of mass destruction for you. I hope they let you turn out little hordes of wool-covered mechanical mayhem. Though I haven't seen any, so they probably don't. Might be a one at a time sort of thing. My warrior has stagnated a bit while I worked on the hunter... but I really am liking the whole pet thing.
...um, yeah. The bad news. Seems like I always post about negative things. I was going to try not to do that. No help for it though.
I have been laid off. On Friday I got pulled aside and told that the hospital was in financial straits, and they're having to let me go. It's nothing I did or didn't do, which is a small - very small - comfort. They gave me a check for the last day, since we just got paid and that was the start of the new period, for more than I actually worked. They said they'd give me great references, just have someone call. I was advised to go right to file for unemployment, but I didn't know where it was, and they didn't either. I was upset, but I went around and said my goodbyes, shook hands and gave hugs. I really liked working there, a lot, and the people I worked with.
I still teach-assist at the college, and that will get me some money, but it's only a few hours two days a week, and I won't see any money until either December or January. I've had 3 students ask me to tutor them over the winter break, and that'll be a little more cash. But yeah, not the best timing, right before the holidays and all.
I find myself feeling rudderless. Getting that degree certainly didn't make for job security. I don't know what I'm going to do now. I considered not going to Further Confusion... but I've already paid for the room, and the registration, and... meh. I might as well. So that's still in the works, at least.
Once the tutoring and teaching is done, and the con over... maybe it's time to get the hell out of this place.- Temper:sad
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| Been a while, as usual, for varied reasons. One being that even I get tired of having nothing really interesting to say, and bitching about doctors gets old very fast for readers as well as writers.
Let's get the boring crap over with and get on to the good stuff.
( Health update )
( The Good Stuff! )
( Writing. )
( Art! )
All in all, things are looking up. I find myself in a very different place than I did the same time last year, and the same place, all at once. This notch on the old stick of life is notable for many reasons. Some good, some bad, but changing, changing. While things haven't been peaches and cream... they haven't been slugs and cockroaches either. The problems I'm having, I'm working on. I am making new discoveries every week, it seems, on positive aspects. - :art, medical
- Location:Home
- Temper:content
 - Singing:Rise Up Your Dead by Indigo Girls
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| It goes slowly. The pain meds I'm on keep me fairly blurry, but are necessary. I sleep my way through much of the day. I walk funny to avoid... ah... unwanted movement. But all in all, it's a little better than the day before, so I suppose I can't complain on that aspect.
The rest, you better believe I'm going to complain about.
When I'd gone in for that pre-op appointment, we'd met the anesthetist. A younger guy who struck me as very attentive. He listened while we told him about my issues with needles, and though he didn't want me taking the Valium I'd gotten for the occasion in case it reacted with the drugs they were going to give me, he talked about another one that he thought would be better. It was given orally, took effect quicker, and wore off quicker, and damn me if I can remember the name. Started with a P, I think. He swore up and down that not only would I not care, I wouldn't remember anything. He assured me that they
(unlike the last anesthetist) weren't going to stick me just to meet a timetable or push me into something. I took a measure of this guy, and felt reassured. He even gave me the option of taking one of the Valium beforehand if I felt I needed it, but to let them know. I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing, so on the day of, I trusted what the man said. I didn't take the Valium. I drank the stuff given to me, which tasted like nasty cough syrup, and was a very pretty dark red.
Only it wasn't him who came in the door to place the catheter. It was another anesthetist, an older man.
Jab jab jab jab jab later, with me promptly freaking out because the drug didn't work - and you better believe I remember every freaking second - catheter finally in after several tries, and off I went to have the wire placed. Then it was a waiting game - I dozed in the pre-op room because I hadn't slept well and the drug was at least making me sleepy, but I never fell sound asleep. Wish I had.
I didn't see my doctor one single time the whole day. Evidently, my procedure got pushed back, started late, and finished late. After arriving at 7:30 a.m. I started waking up in recovery close to 6 p.m. Did I mention that was the time the place closed? I had one nurse who was monitoring me, and she nearly panicked because I was in a tremendous amount of pain and the doses of drugs she had prepared to give me didn't touch it. She called frantically to get more prescribed to give me, which came through, and I finally was able to pry my hands loose from where they were white-knuckled gripping the bed rails. It still hurt, but it wasn't the beginning and ending of my awareness. Because I regularly take hydrocodone for my ankle (when working) I have a high drug tolerance. And low pain one. And then, this lovely nurse proceeded to argue with my surgeon on the phone (because he'd evidently gone home for the day) that yes, I needed pain meds sent with me, stronger than what I use for my ankle. He wasn't going to prescribe anything because "I already had medication at home". I could hear her snarling at the doctor. I could tell he really didn't want to do it. I love that nurse. I need to find out her name and send her flowers.
By the time I was discharged, the place was empty. Just my nurse and one other had remained there. Never. Saw. My. Doctor. And I kinda had questions, yanno? How long am I gonna be out of work, when can I go back, how big a chunk did you take out, etc. *laughs* And the next day, I get a call from Natividad, to confirm a follow-up appointment. When I say I'm sorry, I don't know when it is, the person who obviously isn't listening says "Okay, we'll see you then," and hangs up. I call back, say that I don't know when it is, they say I should have gotten the appointment on discharge, I said I hadn't, they were closed when I was discharged. Oh! Well then call to schedule one. Right. Fine. So I call - musta been lunch, got the machine. I leave a message. Did I get a call back? What do you think. So I'm calling again today.
I hate this hospital so damn much. | |
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| Anesthetists are lying sacks of shit. My surgeon remains a colossal asshole. Nobody fucking LISTENS, or if they do, obviously discount what is told to them as soon as platitudes are uttered.
It's done. I'm home. I feel like utter crap. More when I feel up to it. | |
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| Thursday, June 25, 11 a.m. Mandatory Pre-op appointment on Tuesday the 23rd.
Yeah, so much for July or August. But dealing with the hospital and the financial aid program has been such a headache. Can't schedule a surgery date until you get on the program. Apply to the program, but they won't even consider my application until I have a surgery date. Round and round and round we go. ARGH. And since my hours are better at work, this time there'll be a co-pay of around $300. Ow, but still better than footing the bill for the entire surgery. I'm just aggravated in general with these people and place now. I actually had to make a false appointment and then cancel it JUST for the sake of making them process my application. And then the nurse who was in charge of scheduling the procedure understandably wanted to get it done before the month of approval -- i.e. this one -- ran out. But good lord, even she took for-freaking-ever. She was supposed to call me with a date last week, so I could give my job enough notice. Even when -I- called, no date. I finally got it on Monday. My job wasn't exactly thrilled with the short notice, as we've two people on vacation right now and are understaffed anyhow. It doesn't help that it's been insane at the clinic. Emergencies keeping me there late almost every night. Whoof.
Nor would the nurse answer my question about how long I'd have to take it easy or be out of work. Now I know about the legal issues, but even we can give estimates of heal time as long as we stick to generalities and add that the vet is the really the person who can tell you for certain, as they're familiar with the exact nature of the situation. So I don't know if I'll be on reduced time at work or have to be out completely or what, and won't know until 2 days before the damn surgery. Joyous. It's an outpatient procedure, I know that much.
I have my drugs ready. *rattles pill bottle*
Also, for those of you I keep missing on WoW, I'm generally on Steamwheedle Cartel in the mornings/early afternoon (PST) on my days off, Monday and Tuesday. Brazensong, mostly, poor Sarthenkkal has languished a bit. I got her up to level 30 though. Yay for mounts and not having to run everywhere. I may have to choose different professions for Sarth. Though I will admit, a hunter is tempting. The lure of pets, it compells me. Dustsong on Proudmoor - which I don't go on all that often - is a hunter, but I haven't got any pets yet.
That's all for now. *skitters into the nether again* | |
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| ...and it works now! Back on WoW. Let's hope I stay that way.
In other news... unpleasant things ahead. I'll take all the good vibes anyone can spare.
And things to think about. Not quite sure how to handle them.
/vague ramblings. - :wow
- Temper:contemplative
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| WoW isn't working again. They said download some antivirus program because I assuredly have a virus. On the off chance it's NOT, I have to download the game and reinstall ALL. FUCKING. OVER. AGAIN.
This is me, unamused. If I have to do this again next week, no matter how much I liked the game, I'm quitting. I'm not willing to spend 2 days of the week downloading/installing for the sake of the other 5 just to do it all over again when they do the weekly maintenance. - :wow
- Temper:infuriated
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| A lot of error, cussing, swearing, and frustration went into it, but, at last, I'm on WoW. For all those who wanted to know, y'can find me as a Tauren:
Sarthenkkal on Steamwheedle Cartel (This is likely to be where I am mainly)
Imrrehuresh on Thorium Brotherhood (Might be here off and on.)
Dustsong on Proudmoore. (Same as above.)
Be aware, I'm a rank newbie, and if you talk to me, you might also need to include instructions on how to talk back. And be patient, because I haven't quite got the moving properly thing down yet. Or anything down yet, for that matter.
*does the Tauren dance*- :wow
- Location:Home
- Temper:devious
 - Singing:Now We are Free -- Gladiator Soundtrack
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| I have been on the phone with both router, internet, and WoW tech support. I have changed settings, deleted files, reinstalled, attempted to download from mirror sites, moved files, opened ports, made a static ip, checked settings, rechecked settings, and had someone else remotely go through my stuff. I am frustrated as hell, and STILL can't play WoW. So now I'm downloading it from Blizzard, in the hopes that this version will have the patches and so allow me to play, but like everything else I've tried to download to address this issue, it's taking for-freaking-ever. I'm going to have to leave the comp on overnight, and hope it finishes sometime tomorrow. If this doesn't work, I am seriously tempted to just forget the whole thing. I've wasted a week of my free month and haven't even been able to design my damn character. RAWR. Latest bit of writing from Thursday prompts is here. Weight loss tally is now up to 93 lbs. That is all. - :wow, writing
- Location:Home
- Temper:pissed off
- Singing:The grinding of my teeth.
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| Happy birthday to my best friend, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) neferankh! My A.L., who talked to me during my recovery and kept me sane, who even took advantage of ill weather to stay home and chat with me on the phone when I was stuck convalescing, done me favors when I'm otherwise occupied, and who has been there for me in all the ways a best friend does - both infuriating and needed. May you live a long and merry life, and this year be better than the last. It's been nine years, and you're still putting up with me. And folks say there's no saints anymore. ;D Love ya, my dear. And to the rest of you, Happy Easter! - :holiday
- Location:Home
- Temper:full
 - Singing:Bedlam Boys - Heather Alexander
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| I'm still struggling to get World of Warcraft to work on my machine. I spent a lot of time on the phone today with WoW tech support, and everything I did came to nothing. So finally, the very nice guy helping me said he'd email me instructions on how to send him some stuff on/about my computer and what was happening - error logs and the like - and to try this one thing with the router settings. I've done the first, ran into a snag with the second, wrote him back about the snag, had him write me back with a try this suggestion, and by then, it was time for tech support to close. I'll try the router thing tomorrow. Kind of fed up with it for today, honestly.
So, yes. Writing. Finished up a snippet of a story in response to the last Thursday Prompt. It can be found here. I don't know if it properly ended so much as I ran out of steam. The city and the Houses and the overall concept has potential, I think, but I don't know if it's with those particular characters. And yes, I had waaaaay to much fun with the names. That's definitely gotta change if I revisit it. It goes a little past subtle into the bludgeoning the audience territory. | |
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| The computer is up. I'm on the internet. World of Warcraft is installed.
Patch failed. Try later.
Tried later.
Tried again.
And again.
Patch failed.
*beats head on desk* | |
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| ...if you don't use it, you really do lose it. My writing has suffered horrendously from my absence, both in an rp sense and in the writing sense. So, to combat this a bit, I've found myself taking up these Thursday Prompts posted by an excellent writer over on FA. For the full story, go here. The short version is, something gets posted on Thursday, anything from a picture to a word to a phrase, and you're supposed to write about it, or incorporate it into a bit of writing somehow. Usually, I loathe "assignments" like these, but writing something really is better than not writing at all, so, here I go. I also figure that if I really don't like a prompt, I can do something else. I've got no grades riding on this. I've done two thus far, and not been very pleased with either, really. Rough drafts ahead. Door in the Mountain is quite brief, while Missing wound up going much longer than I intended, and has a weak ending.
( Awesome art by the lovely Ebony Tigress. )
Also, weight loss is up to 89 lbs as of last week's weighing. However, I was also sick as a dog with the nastiest cold, and didn't do much more than sleep for a solid week before that, and haven't been eating like I should. I've lost more muscle, and am feeling downright... insubstantial. It's a very odd feeling. I have, however, looked into a gym that's about 30 minutes away, the limit I'm willing to drive to get to one. It holds promise, with a heated pool and lots of weight training.
The new computer is set up, and awaiting connection to the internets. I called the folks the house has wireless with, but they were busy both times, so I left a message. And of course, they called back while I was visiting over at my grandmother's tonight. I'll try again tomorrow. | |
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| The tally as of this week for lost poundage is 78. I'd be a bit happier if my stomach was behaving - been having a hard time eating lately, everything but string cheese makes my guts churn. Been losing sleep too - anxiety, I believe.
But here, have some more awesome ( art by someone else. )
Also, I was tagged 6 months ago for a meme, and only now got around to doing it. Sorry Terri! But boy did I have fun with it. *chuckles* I love the conversational aspect. Ah, rp. *sniffs*
( RP characters meme. It's a doozy. ) | |
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| ...took a little longer than anticipated. First there was the mold in the bathroom - which meant I couldn't go home with open incisions. So the bathroom was ripped apart and redone. And that took a while. Then, when the bathroom was done, and my incisions were closed, and I'd even been able to go back to work part-time... my grandmother went on a cruise, so I needed to pet/house sit for a bit. And then... then I just didn't wanna get up early enough to pack all my crap and leave before having to get to work. ;P After a couple of days of that, I got my butt moving.
But! I'm home, and now, I'll be finishing redoing my room, and then I will set up my glorious new computer, and It Will Be Good. I will return to RP. I will dip my toes into WoW at long last. I will have all my minotaur stuff on display instead of in boxes.
( More on the surgery, after, and since. )
( Pfft. Skip all that and go right to the end result. )
Fortunately, in addition to the letters from folks - and the ton of rambles from one troll in particular, thanks Leif *grins* - some commissions I'd had already paid off got finished, and have also served to cheer me up when I needed it.
( Other people's art. )
It's good to be back. *contented sigh* | |
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| I'm stopping briefly at the house to pay some bills and get my work smocks. In a few minutes I go back into electronic exile, but I wanted to let everyone know that I'm doing fairly well, healing, and even am going to attempt to go back to work part time on the 2nd. I hope all your holidays were good, and that you have a good New Years Day, celebrated with family and friends.
I can't thank you all enough for the notes of encouragement - they were passed along to me and made me smile and feel better when I was still in a lot of pain. It meant a lot to me, and I hope you all know how much I appreciate having friends like you. I can read email on my cellphone, but replying can take forever and be a pain in the butt. So while my responses tend to be brief, believe me, I have loved all the letters I've gotten while convalescing.
Leif, thank you for the Christmas gift, I loved it. Weaponry makes for a happy minotaur. *laughs* Kishma and the whole gang, thanks for the card and well wishes. :) Kyle, thanks for your emails - they've livened up what can be a pretty boring day.
It's not been easy, and I'm having trouble getting the protein I should because frankly, there's not a lot I can eat yet - still on liquids mostly, but interspersed with jello - and everything has to be sugar free, so that also limits choices a bit. But I'm working on it. I'm still on a battery of pills and vitamins whose side effects aren't always pleasant, but at least the shots three times a day are over with. Thank god. I hates needles, hates 'em. However, it really does get a bit better every day. My incisions are healing up nicely, and I can finally drive again. I miss you all, and look forward to my eventual return and catching up on everything. Take care. | |
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| I spoke with Kaz this morning, and she wanted me to let everyone know on LJ that she is doing well. The surgery went routinely, though she had some trouble with the recovery - apparently, anesthesia doesn't sit well with her. They are releasing her tonight sometime. Post any well wishes as a comment to this entry, and I'll relay them to her when she calls me tonight/tomorrow. -- neferankh. | |
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| I think my nerves about the surgery are starting to kick into gear. I rarely have trouble sleeping, but I woke up around 3 or so and couldn't get back to bed for the life of me. So I plunked down before the computer and tried to make myself sleepy. Browsing art didn't work. Reading through my unfinished stories didn't work... but it did get me writing. So. Rough draft, next portion of this story.
This introduces a new character, Bataar, the saiga antelope. I haven't drawn a picture yet, but that's on the to-do list. Yeah, that... really long... and... I'll get to it someday. Meantime, here, for a visual.
Saiga
'Nother Saiga These are pretty interesting animals, really. Rather awesome. Or so sayeth my sleep-deprived brain.
( Shards of Beauty - Part II ) - :writing
- Location:Home
- Temper:sleepy
 - Singing:Those damn morning birds. Ugh. Morning.
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| Okay, so it's not quite that drastic. On this liquid diet I've lost 25 pounds, and next week is the surgery. I've not been all good - the shakes are vile, no matter what flavor, and there's been a handful of times when I did eat something... but I never gorged or anything, and by and large I've been pretty good. I need to put more holes in my belt, so that feels good, and people say they can see the weight loss.
( Possibly TMI, and my questionable sense of humor. )
I need to do a little running around - try and get my family and friends their gifts before I go into the hospital and won't be running anywhere for while. Small presents this year, and a regretable cutting off of any more art-getting, though I still have a few that are paid but pending, so will just have to tide me over for a while. I think I've become addicted to art of my characters. ( Such as these awesome gems. )
Also. Finally. I wanted to do one thing in the middle of this whole mess that was for me, and for a while, it looked like between the cost of the surgery, the myriad tests and x-rays and medication and meal replacement crap etc., that I wouldn't be able to. However, someone stepped in, and helped me out, and I owe them much love and thanks. I got that new computer. Not a hand-me-down, not just a newer-than-my-previous one, a brand, spanking, new PC. We're reorganizing the room for post-surgery concerns, and I will likely be spending the first couple weeks over at my grandmother's house with no access... but after that? WoW, here I come. Rp rooms, I return. No more sharing a computer that I can get kicked off of at any moment because my own is too old and teeny to do anything, even display mIRC or a webpage decently, and no more worrying about memory limits, which made even older games run incredibly slowly if at all. So. Something to look forward to. :)
And yes, I'm scared witless about the surgery. That's why I'm babbling like a brook.
Ah! How could I forget this? I only wish I'd seen it sooner. Thank you, pipkin. If you haven't yet, watch. I laughed myself silly, and though I don't generally like Jack Black - Kung Fu Panda notwithstanding - he's damn funny here, and sings decently too. So does Neil Patrick Harris. I was damn impressed with his performance.
( Prop 8 - the musical ) | |
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| I had my mandatory evaluation by a psychologist today, to see if I was mentally able to have the surgery. Just one of the many hoops I've begun jumping through. I got sent a questionnaire by email, and we talked about my answers and other stuff relating to the operation for 2 hours. Conclusion? I've got issues (*snort* Big surprise there.), but am cleared to continue on and get the surgery. And since my post-op kit arrived, with my "meal replacement" drinks, I'm no longer going to be able to eat... well... food. Though normally these are only started on 2 weeks before the surgery date, I'm sooooo fortunate in that the doctor wants me starting on them RIGHT NOW. I understand the reasons, but it's going to be a pain in the booty over Thanksgiving. Ah well. No pain, no gain, isn't that what they say? So mi familia gathered for a "Farewell to Food" dinner. I had mozzarella sticks, steak and lobster, and it was gooood. No, I didn't overeat. Didn't even go for a dessert. I am going to miss my Arizona green tea and honey, though. *sniff* But the doctor told me that getting away from the commercial green tea and just having it plain would still be okay. So there's hope!
Also, sheer awesomeness in the way of a Halloween icon from the fantastical oCe.
( Something wicked... cool. ) - :art, gastrectomy
- Temper:giddy
 - Singing:Seize the Day - Newsies Soundtrack
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