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Labyrinthine Ways
Voice Hill: Minotaurish musings and accidental thought.
Fresh Meat 
10th-Jan-2012 01:23 pm - Really? I mean -really-?
confused, the hell?, puzzled, eh?, think so?
So, when I posted yesterday, I'd just come back from the dentist, which wasn't fun, but eh, you all know how that goes. Dental work is just one of the many things I was slowly but surely getting a grip on - since, yanno, no insurance - before the Big Boob Rebellion of 2011, as I think I shall dub it. It goes without saying that that took precedence. Well, as can be imagined, things got worse in the interim, but my dentist is a damn good guy who will work with me on payments for everything but the root canal in the back molar I need, since he doesn't do those. Anyhow, got one tooth taken care of, and am supposed to go back tomorrow to get another all spiffied up again. Shortly after I'd posted the last journal, while I was nursing my aching jaw and reading a book, I heard a loud BANG. I looked out my window to see my mother's car flush up against mine.

She'd sneezed and hit the accelerator instead of the brake.

She's not hurt, thank goodness, her car doesn't even have a scratch. Mine? Huge ass dent in the bumper, and something black, plastic, and grid-shaped from I assume the undercarriage was laying on the cement. ...Hi mom. "I'm so sorry!"

Her insurance will take care of it, and I'm not really mad at her or anything. At this point, I just regarded the whole thing with resignation.

Universe? This is your warning finger waggle. Behave.
fight, stubborn, ordeal, between battles, wouned
Hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Years (or whatever you happen to celebrate, even if it's just a day off or two).

My radiation finished just before New Year's Eve, so already that's one thing the fresh year has over the last, even if I was so burned and red on Christmas that I could've led Santa's sleigh if Rudolph came down with a cold. The healing is progressing now, though the fatigue and the discomfort from the burn will continue to worsen for about a week before it turns around. Or so I'm told, anyhow. Radiation is cumulative and delayed in its effects - I was fine and dandy for a week after starting it, and now I get to make it up on the other end, as it were.

I'm starting a five year course of medication which will cut down the chance of recurrance in either breast by 50%, so well worth it even though it apparently carries menopause-like side effects. Yay. I'll cross my fingers and hope I get off easy on that count. In March I go back to UCSF to see if I'll need further surgery.

There is a new kitten currently flopped across my arms, making typing difficult. His name is Brigand, he's a little black and white shorthair, and at 12 weeks, he came into the clinic with an intussusception. That means that a portion of his bowel had telescoped in on itself, causing an obstruction. The owner didn't have the thousand and something dollars to do the surgery, even with the help of a fund we have at the hospital to help in cases like this. He was going to be put down.

Sometimes, no matter what the cost is to you, you have to do something. I donated my time in the surgery, I took on the onus of paying for the doctor's time, and even with my employee discount, that was still a chunk of change. I'm paying it off a little at a time, given that my hours are next to nothing at the moment because of all my health stuff. When we opened him up, we found that his bowel had perforated, cutting his survival chances in half because with exposure to stool, he was likely to get peritonitis, and he already wasn't doing well. The vet removed about six inches from his gut - and on a kitten that small, that's a pretty damn big chunk. But if we hadn't operated on him right then, he'd've died within a day, no question. Everyone from my family to my best friend thinks I'm more than a little stupid. Especially since at first I wasn't going to be able to keep him. If I couldn't find a good home for him after he'd healed up, I was going to give him back to the original owner - on the sly, since the clinic would have more than frowned at that. Nobody seems to understand that despite the strain on me, he's alive. He has a chance. That was my only goal to begin with.

I love kittens, but I don't own them. I get my cats as adults, when their personality has shown itself fully and I know what I'm in for. Kittens are -work-, just like puppies, and I know I generally don't want to do that much work. Heh. I also don't want to end up with a jackass cat, because kittens are exactly like a box of chocolates. Look good on the outside, but who knows what you end up with once you've picked it up out of the box and can't put it back?

He's had a long recovery, but he's doing great, double his former size now at 17 weeks old, bouncing off walls and doing all kinds of annoying kitten things at three A.M. He shows promise for a cat - the leash and harness training I'm forcing on him is actually going very well. He's a smart little guy, I'll give him that, though I'm detecting early signs of jackassery that since I'm keeping him, we will be working on.

Yeah, I decided to keep him, since I had made the determination I need to move a little while back. Might as well. He's grown on me, the little bastard. Now to socialize the hell out of him.

Further Confusion is the con that since it's local for me (all of an hour away) I usually attend every year. I think I've only missed one in the past... buh. Seven years? I don't know. Long ass time. I didn't think I'd make this one though. Looks like I will manage to swing it, just on a very, very reduced budget. I'll be going to mostly look, getting only a couple things that I've been saving my pennies for since last year and managed not to dip into that stash. I'll be trucking a sleeping bag and a cooler with food to a stripped mobile home in the area that is shortly to be sold to sleep there and drive over to the con every day. Brigand will probably come with me and his assorted paraphanelia so that I don't have to ask anyone to watch him. He travels well in his harness with the leash tied to the chair in the front seat of my car.

So if you know me, and you'll be there, hugs are fine - just try to hug me from my left side, or don't squeeze too hard if you're one of those people who dwarf me and when we hug I get engulfed. If you don't know me, handshakes are good.

Take care all, and here's to a fresh start in a new year.
15th-Nov-2011 11:57 am - Next step.
fight, stubborn, ordeal, between battles, wouned
I did end up having to go back twice more with computer issues. The last time, when the poor guy at the desk saw me, he stopped short and blurted out my name in surprise.

Yes. They know me on sight now. This was ironically amusing to me at the time. He got his supervisor and he came out and took the damn thing apart in front of me. After the problem was discovered and fixed and he ran it through numerous diagnostics and torture tests, and was putting it back together, I outright told him that I wasn't trying to be nasty, but if I had to come back one more time, I wanted -all- of my money back. He just looked at me and said "Fair enough."

He also laughed when I said I was thinking of naming the damn thing Sisyphus, and said it was very appropriate. When it was ready to go, two hours and some later, I said "Nothing personal, but here's hoping I don't see you again for a long, long time."

His reply? "No offense, but I hope I don't see you either."

I didn't call it fixed until I didn't have to go back for more than a week.

On the other front, I've gone from working two days a week to three, starting this Friday. I'll also be covering the days before and after the holidays coming up for others. Money good.

Today I go in for my first bout of radiation. It's going to be five days a week for six weeks. My gene test came out negative, so no ovariectomy for me. I am glad, but not. It probably would've solved my hormone issues if I'd been able to get it done.

So it goes.
19th-Oct-2011 07:15 pm - An unwilling absence.
fight, stubborn, ordeal, between battles, wouned
My apologies to everyone who might have been wondering about my abrupt silence. It wasn't because I wanted to be gone, and to reassure everyone, my health has only continued to improve. I have not yet begun radiation, as I'm waiting on the results of my genetic test. If it comes up positive, I could be in for more surgery, this time to get my ovaries removed. Heh. I've been asking people to spay me for years. Now it might happen. I'm back at work now, though on light duty and only working weekends.

Though I'm not sure that counts as light duty, because despite the fact that the clinic is only open until 3 p.m., there's only a half hour lunch which if it gets busy at all, we don't get, and there's no other breaks. Before anyone makes the very good point that that's illegal, it's the nature of the medical field. What, I'm supposed to refuse to work and sit on my arse when an emergency comes in? Or stick the only other tech there with trying to juggle doctor appointments as well as tech appointments? Trust me, I may not like it much at the end of the day, but that's just what needs to be done. So we do it. And yes, I suppose the argument could be made that we're understaffed, but there are also slow days when we twiddle our thumbs and do a lot of cleaning and straightening just to keep busy. It's a tightrope walk with a pole that is never balanced, you just have to deal with the fact that you're going to be swung one way or the other, and try not to fall.

Of course, I also have to learn how to say 'no'. My first day back was nine hours with no lunch, because they asked me to help the kennel person after the clinic side closed. I'm physically capable of walking small dogs and feeding/watering so I said yes. I also did the cats, cleaned some cages/litterboxes there, and I paid dearly for it not only the next day, but for the whole week after. Fortunately, the Sunday following that I got a lunch, and managed to head home about 4 p.m. Both days I crashed into sleep about 9, 9:30. Which for me is damn early.

But, there is one simple fact that makes this all worthwhile. I'm doing tech work. I'm working as an RVT, and not as kennels. So far. Like I said, I'm currently only working two days. However, I'm hoping this trend will continue when I'm brought back for more days. Despite the swirl of unhappy things going on with people there (one of the hardest-working, easiest to get along with people there who can do -- and has done -- pretty much every position from receptionist to tech to kennels, is leaving because of not being given proper and due consideration and compensation. She's been there nearly ten years and is the most patient person I know.) it's good to be back.

None of which explains my absence. Allow me to begin the saga now. Short version? My computer imploded. A lot. Repeatedly. The full version? Is too messed up to be anything but reality.Collapse )

In the meantime. Look. Arts. Mostly a backlog of stuff I bought before, but a couple after the whole... thing.Collapse )
23rd-Sep-2011 02:40 pm - Sides of the coin.
While the sutures have mostly dissolved - I have a couple stubborn little knotted strings that won't let go just yet - the incisions have healed very nicely. The scars are a little sensitive, but the swelling has subsided, the infection gone. I've been doing my exercises, and my range of motion is approaching normal. However, I have a hypersensitivity to touch, pressure, and motion. Jolting of any kind, even bumps in the road is painful, and there's tingling, and occasional stabs of pain even when not doing much of anything. The doctor said that that's not uncommon, that the nerves are just shocked, and it'll take time to settle down. They prescribed me gabapentin (Neurontin) to help with that. I'm to try taking one for three nights, if that doesn't help go to two, then three if needed. One didn't do it, but it's better on two, and I'm giving it a few more than three days before going to three, just to see if I can manage at that level. The doctor said it should only last a couple months. I'm off the heavy pain meds, in any event, and can drive again, which I did for the first time yesterday. Just a half-hour trip to my grandmother's, and then back again later that night. I felt fine yesterday, but I'm sore now. But at least I can -drive- again. I think I'm going to have to take shorter trips at first. Maybe just places fifteen minutes away or less. I need to be able to handle the two hour trip for a couple follow-ups next week. I'm really tired of having to have someone else take me. Because of all this though, I obviously didn't get to go back to work like I'd anticipated being able to do. I'm out for a couple more weeks, not to go back until Oct. 5th. The radiation in the impending future shouldn't take me out again though, they said you can pick time slots and since mine wasn't urgent, I could afford to wait until one which wouldn't interfere with work was free. It'll also be done a lot closer to home, in Monterey, so I won't have to do all that traveling.

So good things for me. Not so good things for some people very near and dear to my heart. I cannot articulate just how angry I am that good people, generous people, kind and honest, are being treated so damn badly by both other people, circumstance, and plain luck. Life may not be fair, but it doesn't have to be quite this big a bitch.

I hope you find something that helps you be able to be happy.

I hope you have found a job or find one soon, and I'm sorry it took me so long to catch up on journals to see that.

I hope you can find hope again, that your health turns out not to be as bad as is being predicted, and that the darkness of your situation doesn't crush your spirit entirely.

I hope that things are looking a little brighter for you these days and there are less insane people in your life.
10th-Sep-2011 12:36 pm - Update in brief.
My recovery has been hampered by a slight infection and an allergic reaction to the pre-surgical scrub which covered my torso in a very nasty itchy rash. However, I have a cream now which makes it tolerable, it's getting better, and I'm on a different antibiotic for the infection. The edges of the incisions are looking good, some of the glue has been scrubbed away to reveal the pink new scar of healthy tissue. I'm getting more exercises to do to restrengthen my arm and restore my range of motion. I've been able to stop using all padding save for a couple Telfa pads on the sutured areas, though this means I'm feeling more pain as I now feel -more- without that buffer. ...car trips are horrid. Every little bump in the road hurts. And I still can't drive myself. Grr.

During the post-op appointment, however, I was told the preliminary findings from pathology regarding the nature of the mass. It was... funky, to say the least, cysts within cysts with papilloma fronds and microscopic points of actual invasive cancer instead of just in situ. However the margins were clear, meaning they got it all. Because of that invasive cancer though, after I heal, the doctor wants me to get radiation on that side just to make sure.

But they got it all. I'm damn happy about that.
4th-Sep-2011 11:25 am(no subject)
It's good to be home. Hurting, groggy, and all, but home. Now I can poke at the Kindle I got - while I was staying with my grandmother all I could read on it was how to use it. No computer in her house, much less a wireless one. *laughs*

The surgery took a bit longer than expected, they took out a bigger chunk than they thought, and I remind myself of a patchwork doll, all stitched together. Overall though, it went well. The surgeon sang to me as I was being induced, and she had a lovely sweet voice. I'm a musician, take my word for it. Though that the same surgeon was excited and chattering to the plastic surgeon when they came to see me the next day about how strange the mass was, all filled with cysts and polyps and she has pictures she wants to show him... *laughs*. Well. I can't say I don't know how that is. When we pull something funky out of an animal we get the same way. All I said was that I wanted to see too. Hopefully, I'll be able to on the post-op appointment. For now, I'm resting. And medicating. And sleeping.

29th-Aug-2011 11:13 am - Tomorrow and today.
Tribal Kaz
I head off now - today will be an injection of a tracer isotope so that the doctors can find my sentinel lymph nodes for removal during the surgery. We're staying in San Francisco overnight, because the operation is at seven-thirty in the morning, which means I have to be there at six. I will have a new Kindle coming, and hopefully waiting for me when I return. Books are good. The clan is coming with me. Take care all, and see you soon.
19th-Aug-2011 12:40 pm - Answers, and the plan.
minotaur in the sun, determined, skeptical, new day, uh-huh
So, so, and so.

First off, thank you one and all, for the messages and offers, large and small. They helped immensely. When I couldn't have stood another moment of a family member calling and having to put a front on and respond I don't know over and over again, the unquestioning little notes popping up helped make the days go by a bit easier.

I won't lie, it's not been a good week. My mood swung wildly, until it was all I could do at the end to try and keep it together at work - and even then, by the time my days off were approaching, I was cracking. A couple days, I melted down completely. I did not feel strong. I felt strained, worn thin. I despise crying, and I did far, far too much of it. I could not sleep, and I became so very, very tired. Nor was there any rest on my days off, as I had to run around requesting all my medical records from the various places I've been too before, some years ago, and then go around picking them up the following day. Back to work again on Wednesday, and then finally, Thursday.

My appointment was yesterday, and at least now, I know where I'm going, what I'm doing, and what I'm looking at. This, I can deal with a lot better than the not-knowing, the guessing, and the trying-not-to-imagine-horrid-things-and-failing.

The name of the thing.Collapse )
13th-Aug-2011 12:32 am - Walk the path in widdershins...
lost, sad, lonely, snowy night, sorrow
I have not posted here for a long time. This is because I was trying to not simply put up bad news all the time. I had precious little good to say though. It wasn't -horrible-, but I have been growing... discouraged. But there are some folks who will not find out other than through this medium, and so, I say it here as I have said it the one other place I visit in fits and starts.

August 10th was my 35th birthday. I spent it in San Francisco, in a hospital, finding out I have breast cancer.

...but doesil pad it back again.Collapse )
10th-Aug-2010 11:51 pm - *Carves another notch on the stick*
This is my serious face.
So, so, and so. Another year has rolled around and by. The jury is still out on whether or not this is going to be a good one or a bad one -- so I will just cross my fingers. My birthday consisted of taking my car in for its scheduled maintenance, finding out I will need to buy new tires soon, but don't need them Right Now or Bad Things Will Happen like this other lady who was also in the shop had to deal with. They wouldn't let her drive her car, as evidently the tires were so worn as to be unsafe. Lesse. Went to the store. Got some beef jerky, which I am nomming upon with great glee. Had some of my leftovers from Red Lobster, where my mother, stepfather, and grandmother took me yesterday evening. And my grandmother had a big mouth, telling the waiter. I muttered if they sang to me, I was gonna kick her, which amused her greatly. And then, when she and my mother went to the restroom, what do you think happened? Uh-huh. And what's worse, the waiter announced it to the room at large, and got the other -patrons- to join in the singing. ...not a one could carry a tune, either. But at least the culprit missed it. By the time the other two got back, I was just eating my ice cream, candle blown out and singers departed.
Not much else new. Got a speeding ticket the other day. Account got hacked in WoW, but I have my stuffs back now, and I bought an authenticator to prevent it from happening again. Um. My mother has moments of awesome - she brought me back a resin falcon skull on a leather thong necklace from her working cruise to Alaska. It must've been cast from a real one, as it is anatomically correct, and pleases me. Yes, I like bones. I have a lovely badger skull sitting on top of my comp tower, and a deer antler is the best back-scratcher EVER.
I'm feeling nebulous. However, I have a $50 gift card for Barnes and Noble, so I shall go buy books, and become happy. I love being able to get new reading material. Perhaps some music as well. All in all, it's been a quiet birthday and that... suits me just fine. It's been a peaceful day for a change.

And it's arts time!Collapse )
Feeling dapper
Yes yes, been forever, am bad poster. But being out of work has not been fun, and there's only so many times one can say: Drove out to submit applications, not hiring, went home. Called clinics, not hiring, mowed lawn. Had interview! ...not hired. Went home. And various sundry permutations. Since I was saying that a lot to everyone around me, the thought of typing it wasn't so appealing. Suffice to say the economy is crap, and being certified has not made a whole hell of a lot of difference. Even one place I was drooling over (full time with benefits! o_o ) where I'd had 2 interviews and a working interview wound up patting me on the shoulder and saying they wanted someone more experienced. *sighs* Nevermind the applying at Kmart and other such places, most of whom never contacted me at all. While Kmart would have hired me on the spot if the manager was able to - I worked for her before and she remembered my average of a hundred dollars a month in recoveries when I was at the door - the company had revamped the stupid personality test they give. When I was trying to get my first job, ages ago, I took it and failed. Too anti-social. I waited a while, took it again, lied my ass off, and was promptly hired. I figured it wouldn't be so easy this time, and only lied half the time. I figured that would cover my ass, right? Wrong! I failed hardcore. XD So the manager's hands were tied. She can only hire people who fall in the green or yellow zone, and I was all red, baby. When she asked me what happened and I explained how I answered some things, she said I was overthinking it. Overthinking? I said. And wondered if I was overthinking, just how much brain power they actually -wanted- in their employees down at the corporate office.
So roughly six months after I was laid off, I was still out of work. Then I get a call - from the clinic that laid me off, no less. Since I had parted with them on amiable terms, they were giving me first refusal of the only position they had open.

Insert musical dun dun dun here.Collapse )

In other news, my brother got married in June. For months I'd been trying to find an outfit to wear to it that I would, you know, actually be caught dead in. Or alive for that matter. My problem was that every time I went shopping, my mother and grandmother went with me. They made me try on a steady progression of hell no, hell no, and FUCK no. A week before the wedding, I went out on my own, spent the morning shopping and got my outfit which, prophetically, included a burgundy bowler hat, much like my icon is wearing. How about that. I wore a matching burgundy dress shirt, woven vest of shades of blue/green/brown/red, and black suit pants and jacket. I was pleased.
My weight loss is up to 145 lbs. While my ankle can still give me some trouble, I haven't actually had to take any pain medication for it for -months-. I don't have to wear the brace anymore. I feel pretty darn good, most of the time, and have more energy. As usual, there's other health issues, but at this point, there's nothing I can currently do about them, so meh. Not even going there. And in accordance with my particular brand of comfort-seeking (Some people buy shoes or chocolate. I commission artists.) now that I am employed and so not depending on unemployment to pay my bills, I've gotten arts. And some older arts that I hadn't posted yet. And there will be more, oh yes.

Pretty pictures! Some of these are huge, so fair warning.Collapse )
25th-Dec-2009 12:21 pm - Merry Christmas
Christmas, Winter, Holiday
...and a joyous Yule to all of my friends and their families. May all your tables be full of good food, your hearths be warm, your cares be suspended, and worries banished. Celebrate in the manner most fitting and satisfactory to you, and may laughter fill your homes until the wee hours.
7th-Dec-2009 10:04 pm - Compass please.
lost, sad, lonely, snowy night, sorrow
So, I've been fairly lax with posting. This is nothing new. I've been trying to catch up on all the stuff on here and on my galleries, and been falling behind there as well. That happens in spurts, I've found. There's been a few journal entries on my friends page that I meant to reply to, but sometimes, when playing catch-up, and the other person has already moved on, I feel a tad awkward posting anything. Except with you Kyle, since you pretty much have had to get used to it. XD You're the anti-me when it comes to journal entries. *laughs* This is a good thing, by the way, in case you were wondering. ;)

I keep missing everyone on WoW, though I have been playing, I swear! I'm enjoying making little mechanical squirrel pets with my hunter. I can't wait to get to the exploding sheep. Now there's a weapon of mass destruction for you. I hope they let you turn out little hordes of wool-covered mechanical mayhem. Though I haven't seen any, so they probably don't. Might be a one at a time sort of thing. My warrior has stagnated a bit while I worked on the hunter... but I really am liking the whole pet thing.

...um, yeah. The bad news. Seems like I always post about negative things. I was going to try not to do that. No help for it though.

I have been laid off. On Friday I got pulled aside and told that the hospital was in financial straits, and they're having to let me go. It's nothing I did or didn't do, which is a small - very small - comfort. They gave me a check for the last day, since we just got paid and that was the start of the new period, for more than I actually worked. They said they'd give me great references, just have someone call. I was advised to go right to file for unemployment, but I didn't know where it was, and they didn't either. I was upset, but I went around and said my goodbyes, shook hands and gave hugs. I really liked working there, a lot, and the people I worked with.

I still teach-assist at the college, and that will get me some money, but it's only a few hours two days a week, and I won't see any money until either December or January. I've had 3 students ask me to tutor them over the winter break, and that'll be a little more cash. But yeah, not the best timing, right before the holidays and all.

I find myself feeling rudderless. Getting that degree certainly didn't make for job security. I don't know what I'm going to do now. I considered not going to Further Confusion... but I've already paid for the room, and the registration, and... meh. I might as well. So that's still in the works, at least.

Once the tutoring and teaching is done, and the con over... maybe it's time to get the hell out of this place.
Feeling dapper
Been a while, as usual, for varied reasons. One being that even I get tired of having nothing really interesting to say, and bitching about doctors gets old very fast for readers as well as writers.

Let's get the boring crap over with and get on to the good stuff.

Health updateCollapse )

The Good Stuff!Collapse )

Writing.Collapse )

Art!Collapse )

All in all, things are looking up. I find myself in a very different place than I did the same time last year, and the same place, all at once. This notch on the old stick of life is notable for many reasons. Some good, some bad, but changing, changing. While things haven't been peaches and cream... they haven't been slugs and cockroaches either. The problems I'm having, I'm working on. I am making new discoveries every week, it seems, on positive aspects.
29th-Jun-2009 11:01 am - Recovering.
growl, reudiyeg, gonna die sucka, grrr
It goes slowly. The pain meds I'm on keep me fairly blurry, but are necessary. I sleep my way through much of the day. I walk funny to avoid... ah... unwanted movement. But all in all, it's a little better than the day before, so I suppose I can't complain on that aspect.

The rest, you better believe I'm going to complain about.

When I'd gone in for that pre-op appointment, we'd met the anesthetist. A younger guy who struck me as very attentive. He listened while we told him about my issues with needles, and though he didn't want me taking the Valium I'd gotten for the occasion in case it reacted with the drugs they were going to give me, he talked about another one that he thought would be better. It was given orally, took effect quicker, and wore off quicker, and damn me if I can remember the name. Started with a P, I think. He swore up and down that not only would I not care, I wouldn't remember anything. He assured me that they
(unlike the last anesthetist) weren't going to stick me just to meet a timetable or push me into something. I took a measure of this guy, and felt reassured. He even gave me the option of taking one of the Valium beforehand if I felt I needed it, but to let them know. I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing, so on the day of, I trusted what the man said. I didn't take the Valium. I drank the stuff given to me, which tasted like nasty cough syrup, and was a very pretty dark red.
Only it wasn't him who came in the door to place the catheter. It was another anesthetist, an older man.
Jab jab jab jab jab later, with me promptly freaking out because the drug didn't work - and you better believe I remember every freaking second - catheter finally in after several tries, and off I went to have the wire placed. Then it was a waiting game - I dozed in the pre-op room because I hadn't slept well and the drug was at least making me sleepy, but I never fell sound asleep. Wish I had.
I didn't see my doctor one single time the whole day. Evidently, my procedure got pushed back, started late, and finished late. After arriving at 7:30 a.m. I started waking up in recovery close to 6 p.m. Did I mention that was the time the place closed? I had one nurse who was monitoring me, and she nearly panicked because I was in a tremendous amount of pain and the doses of drugs she had prepared to give me didn't touch it. She called frantically to get more prescribed to give me, which came through, and I finally was able to pry my hands loose from where they were white-knuckled gripping the bed rails. It still hurt, but it wasn't the beginning and ending of my awareness. Because I regularly take hydrocodone for my ankle (when working) I have a high drug tolerance. And low pain one. And then, this lovely nurse proceeded to argue with my surgeon on the phone (because he'd evidently gone home for the day) that yes, I needed pain meds sent with me, stronger than what I use for my ankle. He wasn't going to prescribe anything because "I already had medication at home". I could hear her snarling at the doctor. I could tell he really didn't want to do it. I love that nurse. I need to find out her name and send her flowers.
By the time I was discharged, the place was empty. Just my nurse and one other had remained there. Never. Saw. My. Doctor. And I kinda had questions, yanno? How long am I gonna be out of work, when can I go back, how big a chunk did you take out, etc. *laughs* And the next day, I get a call from Natividad, to confirm a follow-up appointment. When I say I'm sorry, I don't know when it is, the person who obviously isn't listening says "Okay, we'll see you then," and hangs up. I call back, say that I don't know when it is, they say I should have gotten the appointment on discharge, I said I hadn't, they were closed when I was discharged. Oh! Well then call to schedule one. Right. Fine. So I call - musta been lunch, got the machine. I leave a message. Did I get a call back? What do you think. So I'm calling again today.

I hate this hospital so damn much.
25th-Jun-2009 07:26 pm - Home.
weary, huh?, sick, tired
Anesthetists are lying sacks of shit. My surgeon remains a colossal asshole. Nobody fucking LISTENS, or if they do, obviously discount what is told to them as soon as platitudes are uttered.

It's done. I'm home. I feel like utter crap. More when I feel up to it.
17th-Jun-2009 09:29 am - Surgery date.
This is my serious face.
Thursday, June 25, 11 a.m. Mandatory Pre-op appointment on Tuesday the 23rd.

Yeah, so much for July or August. But dealing with the hospital and the financial aid program has been such a headache. Can't schedule a surgery date until you get on the program. Apply to the program, but they won't even consider my application until I have a surgery date. Round and round and round we go. ARGH. And since my hours are better at work, this time there'll be a co-pay of around $300. Ow, but still better than footing the bill for the entire surgery. I'm just aggravated in general with these people and place now. I actually had to make a false appointment and then cancel it JUST for the sake of making them process my application. And then the nurse who was in charge of scheduling the procedure understandably wanted to get it done before the month of approval -- i.e. this one -- ran out. But good lord, even she took for-freaking-ever. She was supposed to call me with a date last week, so I could give my job enough notice. Even when -I- called, no date. I finally got it on Monday. My job wasn't exactly thrilled with the short notice, as we've two people on vacation right now and are understaffed anyhow. It doesn't help that it's been insane at the clinic. Emergencies keeping me there late almost every night. Whoof.
Nor would the nurse answer my question about how long I'd have to take it easy or be out of work. Now I know about the legal issues, but even we can give estimates of heal time as long as we stick to generalities and add that the vet is the really the person who can tell you for certain, as they're familiar with the exact nature of the situation. So I don't know if I'll be on reduced time at work or have to be out completely or what, and won't know until 2 days before the damn surgery. Joyous. It's an outpatient procedure, I know that much.

I have my drugs ready. *rattles pill bottle*

Also, for those of you I keep missing on WoW, I'm generally on Steamwheedle Cartel in the mornings/early afternoon (PST) on my days off, Monday and Tuesday. Brazensong, mostly, poor Sarthenkkal has languished a bit. I got her up to level 30 though. Yay for mounts and not having to run everywhere. I may have to choose different professions for Sarth. Though I will admit, a hunter is tempting. The lure of pets, it compells me. Dustsong on Proudmoor - which I don't go on all that often - is a hunter, but I haven't got any pets yet.
That's all for now. *skitters into the nether again*
...and it works now! Back on WoW. Let's hope I stay that way.

In other news... unpleasant things ahead. I'll take all the good vibes anyone can spare.

And things to think about. Not quite sure how to handle them.

/vague ramblings.
21st-Apr-2009 04:34 pm - Fuck it all.
growl, reudiyeg, gonna die sucka, grrr
WoW isn't working again. They said download some antivirus program because I assuredly have a virus. On the off chance it's NOT, I have to download the game and reinstall ALL. FUCKING. OVER. AGAIN.

This is me, unamused. If I have to do this again next week, no matter how much I liked the game, I'm quitting. I'm not willing to spend 2 days of the week downloading/installing for the sake of the other 5 just to do it all over again when they do the weekly maintenance.
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